Brigsby,

I swear I’ll give you everything…the home made costumes, the painted pumpkins. the scratched up records, the pumpkin patches. the trick or treating, the ghosts, the jack o lanterns and fistfuls of seeds. the candles, the smoke, the scary stories. the haunted houses and old cartoons. the cobwebs and scarecrows and costume parties. everything your grandma gave us, every last piece of it, I’ve been storing away, waiting to rain that same magic down on your perfect little head, to put the same stars in your eyes that your grandma put in mine. 

i love you.

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Brigsby,

No one will ever love you with the same intensity, the same ferocity, as I do. The chemical cocktail we both sipped from has bound us together, tightly wound chains between us, through us, connecting our minds, our bodies, our souls. Of every person to walk this earth, no one will ever look at you and see the same thing I see, the way you dance for me, the way you glow for me. I love you unconditionally and in ways I couldn’t love before. I gave you life, I gave you my life, and as I grew you from nothing my heart began to beat for you. I’m your past, your present, your future…your light, your darkness, your secret keeper. No one could ever love you as purely. But I desperately want someone to try. I want someone to vow to spend the rest of their life with you seeking that elusive, unbreakable love…to see the stars in your eyes, to feel the weight of the universe in your arms. I want you to love truly and deeply. I want every particle of love in the world to cling to you, wrap you in a shimmering haze. As much as I love you…it’s less than you deserve. You deserve everything…all of it…more than your perfect heart can comprehend.

I love you.

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Brigsby,

Until the end of days I will have you believe that darkness doesn’t exist in the world…something found in fairy tales, the bad thing heroes fight for, ride away in glory from…myths, legends, stories told in the shadow of night and nothing more. I will break my body in two, lay myself on the altar as a sacrificial lamb, sell my soul to the devil…anything and everything to save you. Save you from the darkness that will claw at your throat, shred your innocence. Save you from the nightmares that will haunt you in the waking world, save you from the terrors that will poison your heart, your mind, taint your voice, your sight, your sanctity. When the darkness comes, it will steal your smiles away, one by one, until one day you’ve forgotten how…it will burn the light out of your eyes until they’re dull, lifeless, hollow…it will turn your dreams into a myriad of sick, twisted things, demented and forlorn. It will paralyze you, cripple you, tear you down. It will steal everything from you, everything. The day I breathed life into you, I became your sanctuary, your creatrix, protector of your perfect innocence.

I pray to a god I don’t even believe in that the darkness never finds you.

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