Someone just shit in my car. And it wasn’t B.

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I went to Sam’s and bought some treats, even though Corona is large and Stella is a jerk. I accidently bought the really really big kind. I didn’t know this until I got home and opened the box.

whatever. B and I had to go run some more errands. So I put Stella’s crazy emotional anxiety ridden ass in her crate, which made her extremely happy. But I didn’t know what to do with the open box of treats – it wouldn’t fit anywhere in the house except the floor. I stacked a bunch of stuff on it. I told Corona NO. She didn’t really care. And she’s a good dog. I thought this was sufficient.

B and I came home. Not even 30 minutes had gone by. I opened the door. Corona was passed out on the couch, on her back with her grossly fat belly hanging over the edge. SHE COULDN’T EVEN GET UP. She was laying in a bed of crumbs and drool. I followed the crumb trail to the kitchen. She had tipped over the box, eaten about 25 treats that were bigger than her head and then gone into a food coma. She ate so much that she couldn’t even eat any more. There was half a box of treats left and she didn’t even want them. Stella was in her crate shaking and shrieking and twitching. For once she wasn’t the asshole and she couldn’t even handle it.

It took an etire week of barfing/crapping in the house for her stomach to stop dragging on the ground. Kind of like the time she ate 5 lbs of raw steak in 10 minutes.

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This is how Corona spends 80% of her day.

1. awkwardly cramming herself onto the couch, usually with a leg or two dangling off. but it’s okay. as long as most of her body is up there, she’s happy. and if she’s within licking distance of Alex, she’s even happier.

2. sucking on blankets. literally. she takes her two front paws and crams as much blanket into her mouth as possible. and then she sucks on it…for hours. but she never ever chews them. she just leaves gross wet drool spots all over the place. When she’s done sucking on the blanket, she burrows under it – aggressively.

the remaining 20% of her day largely involves her hiding out in the kitchen and following B around and guarding his crib. And putting up with Stella. Stella drives her crazy.

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